Friday, September 16, 2011

I confess i am guilty

MNIAmma tagged me to write about my guilt trips. Sure it comes as a part of mommydom.

According to the tag, I have to

1.Write about 2 instances where you have put yourself before your child/ children… been a wee bit selfish.
2.How did you feel? Did you feel a pang of guilt or were you comfortable?
3.Tag 2 more moms

1)Work is one thing that takes most of my day.I have 1.5 hour commute each way and by the time i reach home they are off from school and all that. When i work from home or have taken a day off, I try and get the kids from the bus stop and we have stories to tell each other. We eat something and freshen up and we go down to play in the complex most evenings. While we moms chit chat, kids are playing around. Some days I take her to attend classes if she has any for the day like swimming/drawing and then come back home.Otherwise we go skating or cycling round the complex.I walk with her. She just loves that and tells me to quit my job and be there for her all the time. Do i need to say more? The mom in me is never convinced but i try to convince the little sweetheart somehow. Though i love being home for the kids, I always run blank when they are off to school. Always a dilemma between SAHM or working mom.

2)I am a real monster with the kids at times. Blame it on temper, stress (work related or otherwise), commute and so on. There are times when the kids end up fighting and you are on a work related call and the husband has not yet returned from work. I loose cool and yell like mad. Later on when they are fast asleep, tears well up and i tell myself that they are my world and why did i have to do this. Seriously need some meditation or yoga tips to cool my mind off. I just hope that the kids never inherit my temper.


Now my turn to tag the other moms to write about their guilt trips:
I tag Aparna
and Swati
Not sure if you guys have already done this.

8 comments:

  1. Thanks Sumana, will take it up!

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  2. Hugs Sumana! I am guilty of yelling too, sometimes for no fault of theirs. So there. Next time, when there is a row, make a conscious effort to calm down. I know, it is easier said than done.

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  3. I need to think which ones to write :P

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  4. @Aparna: Thanks
    @mnamma: ;)I swear.
    @swati: do it at your leisure

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  5. Lovely post :). Heyyy but your reactions in both points are quite valid and genuine ones. I'm sure once your kids will grow up they will be able to understand what all you have to go through to manage all fronts of life - home, work & kids. I had a working mother, at times when we were kids, we used to think that wish she was always at home to receive us and wish like our friends she could also spend her evenings with us playing or strolling in park. But trust me, once I got married I understood how challenging her life would have been...I mean I really wonder how she managed to do all things which she did for us! I'm yet to enter motherhood and I cant even imagine the challenges which gets added in one's life with onset of kids.

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  6. You are such a genuine and straightforward person Sumana :) I yell even though I have no work/commute related stress but even though no one likes it, kids know that I haven't stopped loving them even if I am yelling and would be my normal self again once I cool down. So even though I know I shouldn't but it doesn't bother me too much now. I think in general with 2 young kids around, its stress enough at times to make you yell :)

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  7. Being a working mom myself and commuting 1.5hrs everyday-one way-I completely understand how diffuclt it is!

    You write very well too...Am going to read more fo Tiny and Little's tales :-)

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  8. @Kanupriya: Thanks for coming. Life and its challenges..
    @neera: That makes me yell more at times. I feel i take them for granted. Will write another post on that.
    @RS: Welcome here. Sure please read. Thanks and how i wish our commute time reduces..

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