Tiny & News papers

Every day i tried to read the newspaper and also kept telling Tiny to do so when she started reading. Especially the block lettered headings. She enjoyed and used to come over to ask questions and meanings of words or the pronunciation. Needless to say i was happy. But today i curse myself. Ask me why, 

  

Tiny: Amma, Another rape in the city. What is that actually Amma??

Me: (Not sure whether a 8 year old needs to know the ABC of it.) It is a bad touch...

Tiny: So that comes in the newspapers everyday.

This all started after the Delhi Gang rape case. Luckily they  are taught in school about good and bad touches and i have kept advising her on the same. But any more questions around this it gets real tough to answer. A few years back we were left wondering how to tell the kids about an incident or how to make them aware of the societal happenings. But today they are reading the paper and come back with questions and all i have is to hold the tongue at a certain point.

Art of saying NO

Speaking for myself here, I tend to agree upon things sometimes and really end up with having no bandwidth to do the task. It may be a favour or may be something that you own and have to end up giving it to the other. Be it at work or home or social circle it just takes a NO sometimes that can be your savior. But when it comes to the Gen X or Gen Y, i.e our kids generation, I mostly see that the kids say NO when they have to. They are sharing only to a certain extent. They are so choosy about what they want to do at a very young age. They know who can give you what at what times and how to achieve it. But I was proven wrong when it came to Tiny. She does all the above at home and does make her brother Little dance to her tunes. When it comes to her friends, I swear the scene changes totally.

Example 1:
In our apartment complex, she has tons of friends who actually come home take her new cycle to go cycling. Sometimes they are in the learning phase, but they still use her cycle. Not only that I see Tiny riding some of their old bikes. I ask her why and she says, "Amma but she is my friend...". So.... Why can't you say no?? or just give it for a few minutes and take it back. But that never happens.

Example 2:
She gets a new pair of slippers. A friend of hers has an exact similar pair like hers but may be a little used. The friend of hers comes with an idea of exchanging slippers and they do that. Few days later she needs a new pair again because it looks old and all worn out.

Now my thought is that parents(of the said kids) in the complex all seem to be affordable and easily buy bikes and slippers or things like that. It is not that they cannot. But what upsets me is why my girl has to be so submissive with her friends and do whatever necessary to please them. In general i am trying to teach her in a way i can coax her and also not make her feel bad about anything she has done. I also do not want her to stop sharing and behave like a closed wardrobe. Just that she should learn the art of saying No when she is supposed to.

Little's conversations

Conversations between me and Little:
One Day
I: Good baby your lunch box is empty today. (after being back from school)
Little: (Proudly walks over to the kitchen and says) ayamma (helper on the bus and classroom) ate it today. You always tell me to share things and i did sharing sharing.

Another Day
Tiny does not allow her brother Little, to climb over the bunk bed and get on to the topmost platform. They have a big fight when that happens. So when Tiny's friends visit her, Little climbs to the top and sees the world from there. He knows that Tiny will not raise her voice in front of her friends.

Another Day
I was reading a newspaper when the kids were having fun playing with my hair.
Tiny: Amma you have one white hair here.
I: I am also getting old baby, so there can be many more popup.
Little: So what happens when you get old?
Tiny: You will get to meet ambachi (tamil baby version for god)[not sure how she got this one]
Little: Amma, you are going to ambachi??
I: yes if ambachi calls, I have to go
Little: Makes a cranky face, amma please do not go....
Tiny: If you go who will make me read??

Today
Little went to school with all his armour. His armour is Bow and arrow, not the sharp kinds but like the first one that is shown here. Inspite of telling him not to take it, he was very stubborn and finally i gave up. He put that in his school bag and took it. A part of it was popping out of the bag and he was happy showing that to his friends in the school bus. So i thought he might not open it up or even share with anybody for that matter. Who am i kidding??When I went to pick him back from the bus, the ayamma requested us not to send the bow and arrow. The reason being that all the kids stood in line to try his bow and arrow with Little teaching them how to use his armour. The teacher gasped as to what was happening in the class. I am sure she would have cursed me 101 times. But then it was not his fault, i had read a part of ramayana to him the previous day and told him how the gurukul system works. He has tried the same at school.

This was a few weeks back, when i saw Little's lunch box return back home as is. Even after all the reprimanding and stuff, things were the same. I talked to the teacher about the issue. The next day a note came back in the diary saying that he takes interests in other's lunch box and not his own. We used to do things like that in our school days and no doubt this was fun.But in the process we shared our stuff too. Little seems to be doing it one way. I was dumbstruck.
So I tried asking him what he would like to take the next day and keep something that interests him. Things still did not change. He fell sick and i thought it worthy to mention this to the paed (He is actually a jolly good doctor and the kids love him for the candies). The paed gave me a thorough 'Are you crazy' stare and said "Why do you think he should not do that? What is wrong?". He was like as long as he eats, it is ok. I just had to shut my mouth after that, which i did. Finally the paed gave him a fistful of candies while leaving and told Little not to return back. The paed patted Little as if he was appreciating him for his work.I thanked the doc and finally was exiting by when Little had eaten atleast 2-3 candies and I had to stop him. So I adviced Little to keep atleast a couple for his sister. The paed overheard our conversation and said:"Do you think a guy who likes to taste others lunch box and not share his would keep some of his own candies for his sis."

LOL i really was made fun off in the whole session and the little guy laughs out loud looking at me. I am just wondering how this guy will grow up to be like...God help him.